on Insomnia

Edgar stared at Noah’s hand draped carelessly across his naked stomach. Against his pale skin Noah’s hands always looked especially dark. Ayubu had hands like that; Edgar had often pressed his tiny palms flat against his teacher’s and wondered why they were so different. He put his hand over top of Noah’s and spread his fingers, white dark white dark white…

“What are you doing?” Noah muttered into the back of Edgar’s neck. “Go to sleep.”

“Sorry. Edgar-I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” Noah sat up and rubbed his eyes with his palm. “What? Tell me so we can go to sleep already.”

“It’s nothing,” Edgar insisted, his face getting hot. “Let’s sleep now, I’m going to, you should too.”

Noah’s fingertips skittered against Edgar’s hips. “Is that an order?”

“N-no! I just…”

“Tell me what you were thinking about and I’ll go to sleep like a good boy,” Noah said, grinning.

Edgar furrowed his brow and tried to squirm away from Noah’s touch. “Just a second ago you wanted me to go to sleep!”

“Now I’m curious,” Noah said. His tongue flicked out to lick the corner of his lips and his hand moved to the inside of Edgar’s thigh, fingers splayed, dark white dark white.

Edgar choked back a gasp. “I was just… stop that,” he said, grabbing Noah’s hand, “I was just thinking about… if Prince found out…”

Noah frowned and collapsed back onto his pillow. “That again,” he said.

“It’s not… you’d wait for me, right?” Edgar’s fingers picked nervously at the sheets. “I’d definitely get my Ace back, so if I…”

Noah expression softened in that strange way it did sometimes in the dark. “It’s not going to happen,” he said, “I told you that already.”

“But if it did,” Edgar insisted.

“It won’t,” Noah said. “Why are you thinking of that stupid stuff?”

Edgar looked down at Noah, still propped against his pillow and frowning, arms crossed. “You’re more gentle than the servant journals say you are.”

Noah scrunched up his face unconsciously. “I guess,” he said, “I think it’s probably the first time. How do you like it, gentle or rough?”

Edgar thought of men in black robes, he thought of his Prince’s yellow eyes. He wrapped his arms around Noah. “Gentle,” he said, and his voice cracked.

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