Dirty Filthy Scrabble

“Oh fuck you,” Daku growled as Waka laid down e-l-l-a-t-i-o on double word score. “Fuck you, you lucky bastard.”

Waka picked out seven new tiles with glee. “Fuck me all you want,” he said, “that’s still 72 points. Your turn.”

Daku scoured the board for “p” and set down r-i-c-k. “That’s you,” he said, “in case you don’t know. That’s your name now.”

“Then you can’t use it,” Waka said. “No proper nouns.”

Daku let out a yell and tackled Waka into the sand. They scuffled briefly, knocking over the Scrabble box. Daku punched Waka in the face and then they scrambled around for the tiles; Q was stuck to the bottom of Waka’s foot.

“Your turn,” Daku said when they were done, shaking the sand out of his hair. “And don’t even think about going for that triple word score or I’ll kill you. I will shove all the tiles down your throat and watch you choke to death.”

Waka nodded and studied the board for a few moments, then put down i-s-s.

Daku’s mouth hung open. “Kiss?!” he cried, “KISS?!?” He gestured at the board. “Does it look like we’re playing pussy chick flick Scrabble here? You can’t use kiss!”

“Kisses can be filthy,” Waka argued. “There’s no separate word for filthy kisses! You can’t penalize me for that!”

Daku shook his head. “There is no kiss filthy enough for dirty filthy Scrabble. Look at the board! Even the dirtiest filthy kiss EVER would not be in the same league as these.”

“Would too!”

“Would NOT damnit now pick a different word!”

Waka narrowed his eyes, sidled up next to Daku, and refused to let the point go.

* * *

Daku stretched out naked on the sand, his arms flung out at odd angles. “Okay,” he conceded, “”Kiss’ is valid.” He turned his head and stared at the board. “‘Fellatio’ too.”

Waka stood up and looked around for his pants. “I didn’t know we were testing that one.”

“I had my doubts. That’s not a very filthy word for it.” Daku sat up and rifled through the box of tiles. “I think we lost Q again.”

“We never use Q anyway.” Waka handed Daku his clothes. “Same time tomorrow?”

Daku nodded. “Bring a blanket next time,” he said, “I got sand fucking everywhere.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *