“You’re leaving again.”
He hates Yozak’s devotion sometimes. Yozak pretends to be devoted to the country, but his loyalty lies elsewhere.
“As much as I’d like to continue freeloading around the castle, I do have a job to do.”
If Conrad asked Yozak to give up his life, Yozak would do it.
“Duty calls, I suppose.”
Murata is not used to sharing. Either he gets what he wants all to himself, or he doesn’t get it at all. There has never been an in between for him, and far too often he has walked the latter road. He is greedy, hungry for attention, for passion. He wants those pretty blue eyes trained only on him, all the time, but Yozak’s loyalty is unwavering. His captain comes before anything.
“Aw, Ken. I can’t change my orders.”
It’s times like this when Ken looks at Yuuri that way. He’s not sure why he does it. Maybe it’s because he longs for what once was. Maybe it’s because when he gives Yuuri those looks, Yozak takes notice. He has the sneaking suspicion it might be that second one.
“I didn’t ask you to.”
He’s being irrational and he knows it. Of course Yozak has no control over what Conrad orders him to do. He’s not part of the nobility; he can’t just wait around until something urgent comes along. Murata knows that, but he’s still so angry and he can’t help it.
“Hey. Come here.”
And Yozak holds him, right there outside the stables for anyone to see, and Murata forgets all his insecurities. His cynicism, his pessimism, it all seems so silly when he thinks about it in Yozak’s embrace.
“I’ll ask if I can leave tomorrow, Ken.”
Murata smiles. Yozak makes him feel like the stupid teenager he’s supposed to be, instead of the calculating adult he often has to be.
And they both know it really is, now.
It’s hard to doubt the man you love when you feel so safe in his arms.